its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize