Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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