i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
