it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
