you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
