I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
and she was petting her beer can
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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