I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
bring money and cleavage
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
