he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
