I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
