Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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