that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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