How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
