Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
