I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Holy shit dude........stairs
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