I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
