My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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