I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
