Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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