I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Randomize
