i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm really busy with my period
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