Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he thought i was a dude.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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