Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
