Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
