Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
