Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Randomize
