She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
