do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
