I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
