I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
