at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
