I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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