no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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