Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't deserve a penis
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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