You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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