if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
