So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize