So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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