trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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