problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
