please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
