What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
