i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
