Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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