i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
