Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
