check it out our google latitudes are spooning
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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