did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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