Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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