just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize