So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
