you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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