remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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