Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
