You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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