I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
