Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
