did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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