I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
